The Blessed Marriage

Today, there are many reasons given why marriages are struggling. Some say it is sexual problems. Others say it is financial problems. These can be fruits of the real problem that marriage faces-----1) lack of vision for what marriage is, 2) a discomfort with accepting the roles that God has given us as a husband and wife.

Make a commitment not to put down marriage or family. (its a ball and a chain, enjoy your freedom)

What does God say about marriage?

• It is the reason why a man leaves his father and mother to establish himself.

Stop thinking selfishly and you are forced to think about another person (Eph. 5:31, Matthew 19:5-6, Genesis 1:27)
Every time we desecrate marriage, we desecrate the name of Jesus.
"Its better to be single than married." Marriage is the normative state. God says "Marriage is wonderful."
1 Corinthians 7----be like me (under the current stress) burned at the stake under Nero

Proverbs 18:22
1 Timothy 5:14
Proverbs 5:18

Thoughts for young men: "if a young man doesn't know where he is going, how dare he tangle himself with a women."

"If a young man is not spiritually in tune, he is not ready for marriage. A young man must be willing to grow in the Lord."

"A young man who is not ready to be a father is not ready for marriage."

Malachi 3:14-16

We must be specifically training our children to prepare for marriage.

If ever there was an age of temptation, this is the age of flesh.

There is a means of accomplishing an end. We must reinforce marriage before our children in a positive way. Plan and prepare for marriage.

Genesis : What God envisions a marriage to look like

Adam: God gives Adam his lifework before he has his life partner. Doing his life work, he realizes that he is missing something. Adam is given Woman, Eve.....a help meet suitable for him.

Her purpose is to be a helper (1 Cor 11) A woman is made for the man. That is why it is a perversion of natural order for the women to lead the family.

After the curse, we see the division of labor: A man is to work, a woman is to tend the children.

One man, one woman, one life-purpose.

Our culture says, one man, one woman, two directions, questioning leadership, chaos.

Titus 2:2-5 (KJV)
² That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
³ The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
⁴ That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
⁵ To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

"Keepers at home" is speaking of women guiding the house (1Ti 5:14). The Proverbs 31 woman was in charge of the house, but that doesn't mean she never left it (Pr 31). She purchased a field and planted a vineyard (Pr 31:16). She went to the merchants and shopped and brought the goods she made to them. She was involved in community activities. But her main responsibility was to her family.—Andrew Wommack's Living Commentary

Bringing the Focus Back Home

Over the last decade, we have lost 75% of our young people who recieved Christ by the time of the end of their freshmen year. Our failure rate at retaining our children is 75%. Our success rate is 25%.

The birthrate in America (0 Population growth is 2.1 children per couple) is 1.8 children per couple. France: 1.4, Japan: 1.2, Italy: 0.9.

France is reffered to as an aging generation. Population is growing older without any children to replace them. The Muslims have a birthrate of 6 children per couple. This means that in two generations, France will be a Muslim nation. In two generations, Germany will be a Muslim nation.

If we average two children per family. We are losing 75%. It takes two Christian families in one generation, to get one Christian young person into the next.

16 million Christians in generation one
4 million in generation two
1 million million in generation three
250,000 believers in generation four

Our current best evangelistic numbers.....currently reach one lost person for every 43 Christians. What we are doing in evangelism equates to no more than filling up a bucket with a whole in the bottom. The whole is much larger than the tool we are using to fill the bucket. Young people are not coming back in their twenties, either. Here's why: biblical literacy is at an all time high. Men are getting married at 28 (everything is more important that marriage and family). We have to plug the leak.

The answer lies in the home. It is the responsibility of the home to disciple and evangelize their children. It is the not churches primary focus. The churches primary focus is to equip the saints, not to do the work for you. If we do the work for you, we are creating a spiritual welfare system.

Ephesians 6:1-4 (NIV)
¹ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
² "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise--
³ "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
⁴ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

1. Note the context

The book of Ephesians is divided into halves. The first three chapters is Orthadoxy (doctrine) and the last three chapters in Orthapraxy (duty). The first three chapters is a glorious presentation of salvation. The last three chapters is the application on how we live out this salvation (4:1). Chapter 6 is in a section on family relationships. 5:15 shows us three sets of threes.........it is a telescopic unfolding of a passage of Scripture

Three contrasts: a)while as wise, not unwise
b) dont be foolish, understand the will of the Lord
c) dont get drunk, be filled with the Spirit

How?

Ephesians 5:17-20 (KJV)
¹⁷ Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
¹⁸ And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
¹⁹ Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
²⁰ Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;

Three commands: a) worship b) give thanks c) be subject to authority in the fear of Christ

If you find someone not doing these things, they are not Spirit-filled.

Three contexts: wives and husbands, children and parents, and employees and employers.

Now go back to 6:1-4, we now see the context.

Children are to submit to the proper authority in the home. The place where we take the spiritual temperature of children is in the home. God has placed parents in the lives of children.

2. Note the Choice to use the fifth commandment.

The fifth commandment is number one out of all the horizontal commandments. (its position)
The fifth commandment has a promise. (its promise)
#1.......Have no other Gods
#2........Dont make graven images
#3........Dont use my name in vain
#4........Keep the Sabbath
No Promises with these Commandments!
#5.......Honor your mother and father...................yes you get a Promise on this one!!!

Romans 1:24-32............Disobedience to parents is as grevious to God as homosexulaity

The fifth commandment was not about the child. Duet 5:16 shows that this promise is not about a child living a long time. It is about continuing generational faithfulness. Continue to exist and perpetuate the faith. If my people want to continue to exist, they must see the home as the central training ground fo the children.

Fathers.......do not provoke........bring them up in the nuture and admonition of the Lord

It is the fathers responsibility to teach his children. Right believing and right behaving----teach them to believe like Chistians, teach them to behave like Christians. Win them (evangelize) teach them (Disciple)

3 Phases of Responsibility

1. Give me your attention. Discipline...........to do what you are told (do not accept disobedience) If I accept disrespect and dishonor I do not care about them

2. Give me your mind. Teaching.........chatecism phase...if you dont give them this, all you are giving them is moralism. (do this, dont do that....but they dont know why)

3. Give me your hand. Mentoring......lets walk out what you have been taught already

The church exists to equip, assist, and to hold accountable families. The home must be the center of evangelism and discipleship. If this happens, we not only plug the leak, but we also fill the bucket.